<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Donghyuck's Salon by Do_Droca</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135889">Donghyuck's Salon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_Droca/pseuds/Do_Droca'>Do_Droca</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Wonderful Joys of Parenthood [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Dad!Jaehyun, Dad!Taeyong, Family Shenanigans, Fluff and Humor, Haircuts, Jaemin is going to give Taeyong a heart attack, Jisung is a nice boy, Jisung is a smart boy, LittleShit!Donghyuck, Multi, Parenthood, Stressed Lee Taeyong, Teenagers, Yall should be like Jisung, kid!jaemin, kid!jisung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:28:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135889</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Do_Droca/pseuds/Do_Droca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Taeyong gives his kids some cash and tells them to go and get a haircut. One of them comes back looking like a monk, and the other still seems homeless.</p><p>(15/07/20 was bored. finally read this through again. did some light editing.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Wonderful Joys of Parenthood [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1749424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>479</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Donghyuck's Salon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>here i am back at it again with some mediocre content. This work is actually something i did while procrastinating on another work which i started in order to procrastinate on a work that i started cause i was procrastinating on another work. yes, many works, none of them finished<br/>anyways, hope you guys enjoy</p><p>ps. this is based on a true story</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>The Surprise</strong>
</p><p>When Taeyong gave his two sons a wad of cash and sent them off to get a haircut, his biggest worry was they would come back looking like little human Gatorades, each with hair brighter than the sun. While he has nothing against a bit of color—hell, he still wonders how he hadn't gone bald during his teen years from all the bleaching—the <em>expensive</em> private school the boys are attending does, and his husband, Jaehyun, is paying <em>way</em> too much for it for them to get kicked out because of their hair. Thus, when the clock struck 6 in the afternoon, 6 hours after he had said goodbye to the kids and 3 hours since he had last heard of them, he was absolutely sure things won't end up well.</p><p>It is a widely known fact that if the boys are quiet, it is because they're up to no good, doing things they are not supposed to do. Taeyong blames their naughty nature on Jaehyun—he is too lenient for a father of two mischievous boys, always letting them off the hook and making Taeyong play the bad cop. It's not something that usually comes to Taeyong easily, but when Jaemin and Jisung come stumbling into the house 15 minutes after 6, he swears he could lock them up in their room for an eternity, and not feel bad.</p><p>"What the <em>fuck</em> did you <em>do</em>?" The words leave his mouth immediately, and he can see both of his sons wince. Taeyong does not curse often, so when he does, it means things are bad.</p><p>And things are bad. Things are <em>so</em> bad Taeyong wishes they came home looking like highlighters instead, something that he feared so badly at first—at least, in that case, they'd have hair on their head. <em>Any</em> hair is better than <em>no</em> hair.</p><p>"You're <em>bald</em>?" He screeches, bolting from where he was sitting on the couch just to put his hands on Jaemin's head and make sure he is not hallucinating. "You're bald!"</p><p>"Dad—"</p><p>"What were you <em>thinking</em>," Taeyong yells, flicking his son's hairless head. "You're bald!"</p><p>"We're really sorry, dad," Jisung says from where he is hiding behind Jaemin. "We are really—"</p><p>"You're not bald," is what Taeyong realizes at that moment, trying to find Jisung's eyes under the curtain of bangs he has. He is about to ask him how—the boys were supposed to go to the salon together—but the little boy beats him to it.</p><p>"Of course," he says, and promptly scoffs. "I'm not stupid enough to let Donghyuck cut my hair. You should've seen him, dad. He looked so—"</p><p>"You let <em>Donghyuck</em> cut your hair?" If Taeyong wasn't furious before, he sure was now. Donghyuck was an absolute demon child, and if it weren't for the fact he is Johnny's son, Taeyong wouldn't let him near Jaemin nor Jisung. He is ready to start yelling again when something else comes to his mind. "Wait. You clearly didn't go to the salon. Where's the money then?"</p><p>"Uh," Jaemin grimaces, "about that…"</p><p>"They bought FIFA 20," Jisung rats out on his brother in a heartbeat, and it earns him an elbow to the stomach.</p><p>"Why'd you say that!" Jaemin yells, clearly mad, and Taeyong has to grab him by the collar so he doesn't pounce.</p><p>"Because you didn't let me get ice cream!"</p><p>"You little sh—"</p><p>"Hey," Taeyong growls out, tightening the grip he has on Jaemin's shirt. "That's it. Go to your room, now," he drags them to the stairs. "Yes. Up. And don't come down until I call. You're getting grounded, and that's it. <em>No</em>. <em>Don't look at me like that, Jisung</em>. I'm very disappointed with both of you."</p><p>He truly is. Words can not describe how much. He goes to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of wine as soon as he hears the boys' room door shut, drowning it in one go, and pouring another. His blood is boiling. What were they thinking? What was <em>Jaemin</em> thinking?</p><p>Yes, Taeyong refused to buy him the game when he asked a week ago. It is expensive, and Jaemin already has a box full of those—how different can the 20 version be from the 19 one? Taeyong is a sensible man. He does not regret not buying it, and he never will. What he regrets is being too lazy to take them to the hair salon himself, and trusting them.</p><p>He slams his head against the island counter. One of his sons looks like a monk, and the other still looks like a homeless person. He already got an email from Jisung's teacher to do something about the state of his hair on Monday, and now he is going to get a call from Jaemin's, asking about the sudden choice to go bald. It's not how he expected his week to end.</p><p>With a groan, he lifts his head when he hears a car pull over on the driveway. Jaehyun is home.</p><p>"I'm home," the man yells from the door, promptly slamming them shut. Taeyong doesn't know why he bothers announcing his arrival; the brutal way of closing the door is a clear giveaway it is him. One day the door will fall off the hinges from the sheer force, and Taeyong does not plan on being the one to fix them.</p><p>"Hello, beautiful," the man chirps as soon as he sets foot into the living room, catching sight of a distressed-looking Taeyong in the kitchen and halting in his steps. "What happened?"</p><p>"Your sons happened."</p><p>"What did they do now?"</p><p>"Go to their room and see for yourself."</p><p>"Did Jisung break the bed again?" His husband worriedly asks, taking off his suit and throwing it over one of the arms of the couch. Taeyong's eye twitches at the act.</p><p>"Go to their room and see for yourself," Taeyong repeats, gesturing to their room with his glass of wine, "and get that fucking suit off the couch. We own a hanger for a reason."</p><p>Jaehyun immediately takes the suit in his hands, and with a very reluctant '<em>alright'</em> goes upstairs. It is quiet for a while. Taeyong is about to pour himself yet another glass of wine when his husband strolls back into the kitchen, face in a grimace. He is clearly holding in his laugh.</p><p>"Well—"</p><p>"<em>I'm going to kill them, Jae</em>," Taeyong hisses out, throwing the empty bottle of wine into their glass garbage disposal. It clinks against the glass that was already there, the sound echoing through both their kitchen and living room. Taeyong has a sudden urge to smash plates.</p><p>"Oh, come on, love," Jaehyun pulls him towards himself with a smile, enveloping him in a warm back hug. His husband remains tense. "Honestly, I think we got lucky."</p><p>"What's so fucking lucky about all of this?" the smaller male questions, leaning into the hug despite being angry.</p><p>"It could've been Sungie, and he's got that fucked up head shape. Jaemin at least looks decent," Jaehyun reminds him, and Taeyong knows he is laughing despite the lack of the sound because his body is vibrating against his.</p><p>Taeyong would laugh too if it weren't for the fact he will be the one to get chewed up by the teachers. What if they call him in for a meeting? That would be horrible. He'd rather endure a 15-minute call than visiting that godforsaken school.</p><p>"He's going to get in trouble in school."</p><p>"Why?" his husband asks, slowly swaying them from side to side. He clearly does not know they're not allowed to look like an egg.</p><p>"Am I really the only one that went through the school's regulations and rules? Jaehyun! What kind of parent are you?"</p><p>"A cool one," the man responds instantly and earns himself an elbow to the stomach—Taeyong ignores the little voice in his head telling him Jaemin picked that up from him.</p><p>"Yeah, and I'm going to be the one that has to listen to Mrs. Hicks and her slander. You know she hates me," Taeyong whines. "I'm 100% sure she's homophobic."</p><p>"I have no idea what you're talking about."</p><p>"Of course you don't," he grumbles. "You've been at two parent-teacher conferences tops, and they all loved you because all you did was smile and nod the whole time."</p><p>"It's not my fault the first thing you did was call them out on the lack of toilet paper in the bathrooms, and terrible lunch offers."</p><p>"We're paying way too much for my child to get soggy french fries and a half-raw Cordon Bleu as lunch. Just because some parents don't care about their kids doesn't mean I have to be like them."</p><p>"It's alright, love," Jaehyun says with a soft kiss to his husband's temple. "How about this—if Mrs. Hicks calls, let me know, and I'll answer instead of you."</p><p>Taeyong sighs. "Do you promise?"</p><p>"Yes, love, I promise."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"I'm still mad at the kids, though," he says.</p><p>"I know, love."</p><p>"They're so fucking stupid, Jae," he buries his face in his hands. "Jaemin let Donghyuck cut his hair. <em>Donghyuck</em>. I'm pretty sure that boy still eats his boogers, for Christ's sake."</p><p>"Don't let Johnny hear you," Jaehyun laughs. "Hyuck is <em>perfect</em>," he gushes in the same tone their friend uses when talking about his son.</p><p>"Ten at least admits he's horrible," he says, thinking about Johnny's crazy husband. Taeyong is pretty sure it's his fault Donghyuck is such a menace.</p><p> "You're talking shit about other people's children as if Jisung didn't almost burn down our shed last summer," Jaehyun says, and both of their gazes fall onto the tattered thing in their garden.</p><p>Taeyong gulps and looks away. "We agreed not to talk about that."</p><p>Jaehyun's laugh echoes through the house. "<em>Sure</em>."</p><p>With a rather dramatic sigh, Taeyong entangles himself from his husband's grip and walks over to the couch, falling face-first onto it. His children will be the death of him, especially Jaemin, because Jaemin is—and it pains Taeyong to say it—stupid. It is an irrefutable fact both he and his husband are aware of, and they accept it, because Jaemin is a good child, and they love him. Sometimes, though, Taeyong can't help himself but cry out of frustration.</p><p>"It's going to grow back, Tae," Jaehyun sighs, leaning against the couch. Taeyong only groans in response. Yeah, sure. In a <em>month</em>.</p><p>"It could've been worse. He is alive and healthy. No injuries," Jaehyun continues. "Donghyuck could've cut his ear off or something."</p><p>"I regret befriending Johnny. Jaemin would have never met Donghyuck otherwise."</p><p>"I know you don't mean that."</p><p>Taeyong is quiet for a couple of seconds. "Yeah."</p><p>"Come on, love. We will worry about this later."</p><p>"I'm going to kill them," the exhausted man repeats for the second time, letting himself be dragged away by his husband, "I'm <em>so</em> going to kill them."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>The Consequences</strong>
</p><p>"<em>You're grounded</em>."</p><p>Both Jaemin and Jisung look up from their phones at the announcement, surprised by the sudden arrival of their father. Taeyong is standing at their door with his arms crossed, and he refuses to come any closer because the closer he gets, the clearer his sons' faces are, and he can not afford to get distracted by puppy eyes. For now, all they are are blurry smudges in the distance, and that is perfect. God, who would've thought he'd come to the point where having a poor vision is a blessing.</p><p>"I'll let you have your phones," it is a much-needed distraction. Otherwise, the boys would have to find other ways of spending time, and Taeyong fears what those might be. "But I'm taking away all your PlayStation thingies, and game boys, and all <em>that,</em>" he points at a shelf that most likely has a 1000$ worth of gaming equipment on it. Damn it, Jaehyun.</p><p>He is about to say that's all when Jaemin's computer catches his eye. "I'm taking the computer, too."</p><p>"Dad!" Jaemin whines, standing up from his bed. "Not my computer!"</p><p>Taeyong stops him with a single lift of a finger. "No. The decision is final. Unless you want me to take your phone, too?"</p><p>Jaemin backs off after that, retreating back to his bed with his phone in his hand, turning his back to Taeyong. I would usually make Taeyong sad—the fact Jaemin is mad at him—but one look at the patchy, bald back of his son's head is enough to remind him he is doing this for a purpose.</p><p>He drags in the laundry basket he emptied solely for this occasion and begins filling it in with the gaming equipment. Jaemin continues to ignore him, typing furiously on his phone, but Jisung offers to help him, and it warms Taeyong's heart, the fact Jisung is not that mad at him. Jaemin quietly calls the younger a traitor, though.</p><p>"It's alright, Sungie," he assures and goes back to work.</p><p>He faces his first problem once he gets to the computer. How the hell is he supposed to take that away?</p><p>The man spends a minute or two just staring at the thing before deciding he should just take the monitor and call it a day. It proves to be easier said than done. He struggles to carry it to the hallway, almost slipping on an abandoned sock on his way out. It makes him realize two things; one, the boys need to clean their room; and two, they should consider switching solely to laptops because those are easier to carry.</p><p>On is way out, Jisung calls for him again. Taeyong turns around and looks at him, stopping himself from scolding the boy for hanging off the top bunk. "Yes?"</p><p>"When are we going to get them back?" He asks, his eyes looking at the laundry basket partially hidden behind Taeyong. The man bites back a scoff.</p><p>"When your brother's hair gets at least an inch in length," he says with his hand on the door handle. "So you better hope it grows fast."</p><p>Taeyong can hear Jisung curse Jaemin out when he closes the door, and he can only hope they don't kill each other. He belatedly remembers he hasn't told Jisung yet Doyoung is coming over to cut his hair, and speeds back to the boys' room, bursting in just in time to see Jaemin hold Jisung in a headlock.</p><p>"I forgot to tell you uncle Doyoung is coming later to cut your hair," he says, not bothering to mention who he is talking to because it's clear it's not Jaemin. "Also, please don't fight, or I'll take your phones for real."</p><p>Jaemin lets go of Jisung while giving a nasty look to his father, and the younger boy drops to the floor like a bag of flour. Taeyong is about to scold him when Jaehyun's voice travels from downstairs, startling all three of them.</p><p>"<em>The Kims are here</em>!"</p><p>Taeyong's eyes narrow. "You're lucky," he says, a finger pointed at Jaemin. "Come on, Jisung. Let's go downstairs."</p><p>"Did Jeno and Bin come too?" Jisung asks as he hastily gets up from the floor, eyes flying to Jaemin.</p><p>"I'm not sure, but I think they did," Taeyong says honestly, putting his hand on the small of Jisung's back and leading him out. "I'll send them upstairs if they did, so you better pick up those socks and boxers you have lying around, Jaemin."</p><p>He doesn't have to tell him twice. Jaemin downright squeals, getting down to work, but not before pulling a snapback over his head. Taeyong rolls his eyes at his behavior. He is certain Doyoung told the twins what happened, and the only reason the boys came is to see Jaemin's bald head. A cap won't do a single thing.</p><p>"I think Nana's chances with Jeno dropped to a zero," the younger tells Taeyong once they reach the stairs, and the man has to agree. It was a bit weird at first, realizing your child is having a crush on your best friend/sworn enemy's kid, but now it's fun. It's a perfect thing to gossip about with his younger son.</p><p>"I don't think so," Taeyong honestly says. Yes, Doyoung's twins look and act far better than what one would expect from a teenager, but it doesn't change the fact they are, in fact, teenagers. Or the fact Doyoung is their father. "He might not have gotten his looks from uncle Doyoung, but I bet he is as stupid as he is, Sungie. The stupidity runs in their family."</p><p>Jisung laughs, barely masking the scandalous look on his face. "Dad!"</p><p>"I'm saying this in the most affectionate way possible, baby," Taeyong whispers once they reach the bottom of the stairs. "Jeno seems a bit dumb to me, and since, may God forgive me, your brother is too, I'm not too worried about the consequences of your little visit to Donghyuck's salon. They're a perfect pair of dumbasses. It'll take more than a bald head to break that bond."</p><p>"What are you two gossiping about?" Jaehyun pops out from the basement, a bottle of red wine in his hands. "Is it Jaemin? I heard Bin teasing Jeno about his bald boyfriend."</p><p>Taeyong slaps his husband. "Keep it down, you heathen," he whispers. "Do you want them to hear you? We're not supposed to know."</p><p>"I don't think they're together yet, appa," Jisung corrects his other father quietly.</p><p>"Ah," Jaehyun waves with his free hand. "Whatever. I already accepted our fate. Come, uncle Doyoung is waiting for you in the living room."</p><p>All three of them enter the living room at the same time, and three heads turn to look at them from the couch, meaning Doyoung's wife must be stuck at work again. The twins politely greet Taeyong, jumping to their feet as soon as he tells them Jaemin is upstairs, waiting for them. They disappear within seconds, and Taeyong hears Doyoung laugh before calling Jisung and beckoning him over. The 13-year-old plants himself on the man's lap as soon as he gets close, letting Doyoung have a better look at his hair.</p><p>"When was the last time you took him to a hair salon, Taeyong? Jesus, baby," Doyoung teases, pushing Jisung's hair back so he could see his face. It causes the younger to frown.</p><p>"Hello to you too, Doyoung," Taeyong grits back, no real malice in his voice. He strolls into the kitchen and takes out two more glasses from the cupboard for the wine. "I'll let you know it was half a year ago, and that I <em>did</em> try to take him to the hair salon once in the meantime, but Sungie doesn't seem to want to cut his hair."</p><p>"He's having some confidence issues," Jaehyun explains, whispering with a hand next to his mouth, "says his eyes are too small."</p><p>"I can hear you, appa," Jisung grunts, still frowning.</p><p>"Oh," Doyoung says in understanding. "Well, I won't cut off too much then. Just enough to get those annoying teachers off of your dad's back."</p><p>Taeyong groans at the mention of Jisung's homeroom teacher. He wonders long it will take her to call the social service on him—<em>that</em> is how much she hates him. He takes out another three glasses, but then changes his mind and puts them back, taking plastic cups instead. He sends them through Jaehyun upstairs to the boys, together with a box of orange juice and a bag of half-eaten Cheetos. They need to go grocery shopping.</p><p>"Have you got a bowl?" Doyoung asks, scissors and a trimmer laid out on the dining table. Jisung is sitting on one of the bar stools that usually stand next to the island, fear evident in his eyes. Taeyong ignores it.</p><p>"Yeah, what kind do you need?"</p><p>"Any will do. Just make sure it fits over his head," Doyoung says, and Jisung slaps him with a high-pitched <em>stop it, uncle</em>.   </p><p>Taeyong suddenly wonders if allowing Doyoung to cut Jisung's hair is a smart decision, but hands him a pink bowl nonetheless. He can't be worse than Donghyuck, that's for sure. After all, he was the one that cut the twin's hair for years, and that's bound to mean something. Worst case scenario, Jisung will look like a mushroom, and that is something Taeyong can deal with.</p><p>He sips on his wine while Doyoung works on Jisung, not paying much attention to what the other man is doing to his son. His husband, on the other hand, points out how Jisung already looks like a coconut as soon as he comes back and sees the boy. The comment doesn't sit well with the little man, and he becomes restless, making Doyoung's job much harder.</p><p>"If you don't stop moving, I'll poke your eye out, young man," Doyoung says. Jisung deliberately continues to shake his head even after the comment.</p><p>"What a little asshole," Jaehyun comments, a fond smile on his face.</p><p>Taeyong still sips on his wine. "He's your kid."</p><p>"Touché."</p><p>The two men continue watching his friend struggle with their child, both with smiles on their faces. Jaehyun asks if they should step in and help Doyoung after a couple of minutes, but Taeyong only waves with his hand, dismissing the suggestion.</p><p>"He'll manage."</p><p>
  <strong>How to Deal with The Consequences</strong>
</p><p>Jisung was not mad at his father before, but he is now, and it definitely has something to do with the fact he looks like a bowling ball. It took Taeyong approximately 20 minutes longer to get him to school, and 17 minutes of those 20 minutes were spent on trying to get him into the car. Taeyong had to go as low as bribing Jaemin with his computer for the boy to help with his little brother, and Taeyong never saw Jaemin looking so smug.</p><p>It's Monday, at 7:25 in the morning. They're currently at the parking lot, sitting in their dirty Chevy Taeyong is procrastinating on cleaning, and all three of them are nervous.</p><p>"I swear I'm going to stop hanging out with Donghyuck if you let me skip school for the next month," Jaemin says from where he is sitting next to Taeyong, his bald head hidden under a cap. Taeyong wonders why he even bothered. He will eventually have to take it off, anyway. Jisung scoffs from the back.</p><p>"As if," the younger boy says.</p><p>"We both know that's not true," Taeyong ends up saying. He snatches the cap off of his son's head and throws it in the back. Jaemin's hands immediately fly up to his head. "It's time to go, young gentlemen. School awaits."</p><p>"<em>Dad</em>," both kids whine at the same time, and Taeyong sighs. God is really testing his patience.</p><p>"No. Out. Both of you."</p><p>They both hop out with a groan, clearly upset. Taeyong barely has the time to say <em>I love you</em> before they both slam their doors shut, walking to the entrance with their heads hung low. It's a painful sight to see. One looks like an egg, the other like a coconut. The teachers will be pissed off.</p><p>Taeyong slams his head against the steering wheel out of desperation, honking by accident. It catches the attention of a couple of parents passing by, and he hastily buckles up, driving away as fast as possible with a sheepish smile. He is already late for work, anyway.</p><p>Taeyong spends the whole day at work dreading the call. He knows teachers are usually considerate enough to wait until the afternoon before they go and call parents, aware most of them have proper 9-5 jobs, but it doesn't stop him from panicking. Even Baekhyun, one of his coworkers, asks if he is alright, offering to take the rest of his papers so he could go home early. Taeyong accepts the offer in a heartbeat. If he is going to get roasted for being a lousy parent, he'd rather be in his own home, preferably with a glass of wine by his side.</p><p>Thus, when he comes home, he quickly changes into the same dirty shirt and shorts he wore yesterday, takes the unfinished bottle of wine from the fridge, and makes a nest for himself on the couch. He places his phone on the coffee table directly in front of him and waits.</p><p>There were a couple of unanswered messages from his kids, whom he sent over to Doyoung's place, not wanting them to see his upcoming mental-breakdown. Last time he got a call from one of the teachers, he spent the next hour crying in the bathroom with the shower on (which later unsurprisingly affected their water bills)</p><p>You see, e-mails are alright. Taeyong can handle e-mails. It's phone calls and meetings that scare him.</p><p>Taeyong's biggest fear is being a bad parent and not giving his boys what they deserve. It is something that has been bothering him for years, even before he and Jaehyun adopted Jisung and Jaemin. It's persistent, this little voice in the back of his mind telling him they would've been happier with someone else, and so haunting.</p><p>His husband and their friends keep telling him he is doing absolutely fine, and that he has nothing to worry about. <em>I let mine do a treehouse all by himself, and he fell and broke his leg, but he is fine now</em>, Ten has told him once as a consolation. Imagine coming to the point where Ten has to console you.</p><p>So yes, phone calls from teachers scare him, especially if their main purpose is to question his parenting skills.</p><p>It's 20 minutes past 5 when his phone lights up with an incoming call from YOU'RE FUCKED, and Taeyong wipes his sweaty hands against the couch, taking a couple of breaths. He nervously repeats <em>water off a duck's back</em> a couple of times, building up courage, and then accepts the call.</p><p>"Hello, Mrs. Hicks. How can I help you?"</p><p>Taeyong internally screams out of joy for not stuttering. In situations like these, the most important thing is to stay calm and not show fear, or else you're fucked. He can hear shuffling on the other side of the line.</p><p>"<em>Good afternoon, Mr. Jung. I am calling because of our Jaemin. I am afraid we had quite an unpleasant situation today</em>," the woman drawls, a distinct sound of a coffee maker in the background, "<em>do you, perhaps, have time to talk</em>?"</p><p>Taeyong panics as soon as she mentions an unpleasant situation, afraid something happened to his boy. He immediately regrets not answering his texts. "Did something happen? Is he alright?"</p><p>The woman is quiet for a while. "<em>Well, it's nothing too serious. I just wanted to ask if there is a reason why he came to school today with a shaven head that I should be aware of</em>," she says. "<em>I am sure you're familiar with our academy's rules, and you know we do not approve of such hairstyles. It is a bit</em>," she pauses, "<em>inappropriate. Jaemin is usually a good boy, so I could not help myself but fear the worst, but he told me he is alright</em>—"</p><p>"Oh, God!" Taeyong gasps, realizing what she meant. "No! Jaemin is healthy as an ox! I sincerely apologize, Mrs. Hicks, for any misunderstandings—"</p><p>"<em>Would you care to explain why then? I am afraid he is going to have to receive a week's worth of detention unless there is a valid reason</em>—"</p><p>"Of course!" Taeyong shoots out.</p><p>"<em>Of course, what</em>?"</p><p>Taeyong clears his throat, "Of course, there is a valid reason." Yes<em>. A 60$ PlayStation game</em>.</p><p>The line is silent for a while. "<em>What is it, then</em>?"</p><p>Taeyong freezes. He does not have an excuse.</p><p>"Uh, the reason is—" he begins, eyes frantically scanning the living room, searching for inspiration. Time is running out. Mrs. Hicks clears her throat.</p><p>"<em>Mr. Jung</em>?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"<em>If you don't have a valid reason</em>—"</p><p>And Taeyong, in the spur of the moment, yells, "He had lice!"</p><p>The silence that follows is almost deafening. Taeyong can only hope his breathing is not too heavy for the teacher to hear.</p><p>"<em>Lice</em>?" she questions, doubt in her voice.</p><p>"Yes, <em>lice</em>," Taeyong lies through his teeth again. "Oh, it was <em>horrible</em>, Mrs. Hicks. We had no other choice. He cried when we did it, but he knew it was for the best. Because of his brother, you know. Jaemin would never shave off his hair without a valid reason."</p><p>"<em>Oh my</em>," the woman says. "<em>And Jisung</em>?"</p><p>"Jisung is fine. We all are. It was only Jaemin," Taeyong continues to lie.</p><p>"<em>How could that be</em>?" The woman seems genuinely horrified.</p><p>Taeyong continues to make things up. "It was Donghyuck," he blurts out, wincing once he realizes how big of a hole he is digging for himself.</p><p>"<em>Donghyuck</em>?" Mrs. Hicks repeats. "<em>Donghyuck Seo</em>?"</p><p>"Yes," Taeyong confirms, "but we got it all under control! Everything is under control. Don't worry, Mrs. Hicks."  </p><p>"<em>That is a relief</em>," the woman breathes out. "<em>You did a good job, Mr. Jung</em>," she tells him, and Taeyong is caught off guard by the sincerity. That might just be the first praise he got from the woman.</p><p>"Uh, thank you, Mrs. Hicks."</p><p>"<em>I hope Jaemin's hair grows back quickly, and that he does not feel too bad about it</em>," she says. "<em>Thank you for your time</em>."</p><p>"Uh, yes."</p><p>"<em>Goodbye, Mr. Jung</em>."</p><p>"Goodbye."</p><p>As soon as he is sure she hung up, Taeyong throws away his phone with a squeal. He grabs the nearest cushion and screams into it out of exasperation. <em>Unbelievable</em>. He just lied to his son's teacher. A 32-year-old man lied to his son's teacher and said he had lice. Out of all the things he could have said, he told her he had lice. Lice! Taeyong is <em>so</em> going to burn in hell.</p><p>A short breakdown later, he stands up to retrieve his phone, finally checking his messages. Turns out, Jaemin sent him a heads up hours before, saying Mrs. Hicks will call him later in the afternoon. He informs him the call was over, and that he should head back home because they need to talk. Taeyong needs to explain what exactly he said to the teacher so they could come up with a plan and not expose themselves.</p><p>He never thought the fact his sons are good at lying would come in handy.</p><p>
  <strong>How to Deal with The Consequences of The Consequences</strong>
</p><p>"You told her <em>what</em>?" Jaemin screams and Taeyong winces. Well, at least he is not throwing things at him.</p><p>"I'm sorry, honey," the man apologizes for the fifth time since the boys came home, "I panicked!"</p><p>"You panicked?" Jaemin asks, absolutely livid. Taeyong can see Jisung in the background, munching on a baguette. Where did he get a baguette?</p><p>"I'm sorry—"</p><p>"<em>What kind of a father are you</em>?" The words leave Jaemin's mouth before he has the chance to think them through, and he regrets them as soon as he sees his father's face go blank.</p><p>Contrary to popular belief, Jaemin knew Taeyong was having issues. They adopted Jaemin when he was 9, and at that age, he was already aware of things that were going around him. It took him a couple of years to figure out the exact reason why his father cries from time to time, though, and when he did, it broke his heart.</p><p>Taeyong might have his quirks and flaws, but <em>he</em> is not a bad father, so to see him doubt himself like that pains Jaemin. The boy sighs and instinctively tries to run a hand through his hair, but remembers he has none when his hands slide over his skin. Why does he keep fucking shit up?</p><p>"I didn't mean—"</p><p>"It's okay. You're right," Taeyong cuts him off, voice cold and distant. Jaemin heart drops to his guts.</p><p>"<em>Dad</em>. I didn't mean it like that."</p><p>"I'm sorry, Jaemin. I really am. I'm sorry I'm not—"</p><p>"Stop it!" Jaemin screams again. "Stop doing that! Why are you always doubting yourself, dad? Do you think I'd stay with you if I didn't like you, huh? Do you know how many foster families I went through before you and appa came?" he asks, voice laced with both frustration and sadness. "<em>I chose you as much as you chose me</em>, so stop being a fucking baby. I only said that because I'm fucking embarrassed, okay? Please stop doubting yourself and let me be angry at you for once!"</p><p>By the time he is over with his rant, Jaemin is panting like a dog. Whether it be from the anger of the rap-like outburst he just had, he is not sure. The only thing he is sure of is that his dad is stunned, looking at him with eyes wide open, and it takes him approximately three seconds before he pulls Jaemin into a bone-crushing hug and starts crying. Jisung is looking at the exchange with a baguette half-shoved into his mouth, eyes just as wide as Taeyong's were a couple of seconds before. He quietly places it onto the coffee table before hesitantly joining the hug, patting Taeyong's back.</p><p>"Don't cry, dad," he says. "Jaemin is stupid. He's probably scared Jeno will think he is gross."</p><p>The statement sends Taeyong into a fit of giggles, and Jaemin groans, only confirming his brother's assumptions. They stay hugging like that for a couple of seconds before Taeyong pulls away, looking into Jaemin's eyes.</p><p>"Do you really mean it? That you chose me?"</p><p>Jaemin turns as red as their couch. "God, don't make me repeat it again, dad. I've been embarrassed enough. Lice. <em>Lice</em>! How'd you even think of that?"</p><p>"I'm so sorry, baby," Taeyong repeats, pulling him into another hug. "She said you're going to get detention otherwise, and I didn't know what else to do."</p><p>"I'm going to die," Jaemin cries out, burying his head into Taeyong's chest.</p><p>"<em>Actually</em>," Jaehyun appears out of nowhere, and all three of them jump out of surprise. Taeyong is about to ask him how he managed to get into the house without slamming the door, but the frown on his husband's face stops him.</p><p>"We're all going to die. Anyone care to explain why I got a call from a <em>very angry</em> Johnny claiming I told the teachers Donghyuck had lice?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lol thats it</p><p>i still cant believe i finished this in a day. just... the real story i based this on was so funny i couldnt help myself but use it as inspiration. lemme know if there are any grammar mistakes??? english is hard these days :(<br/>also, to anyone whos wondering, yes, i failed that engineering class from a couple of months ago (and then passed it with a B. the universe works in strange ways. im one step closer to becoming bob the builder despite being shit at maths and graphs, and not really remembering how to calculate bending moments??? lifes good tho.)</p><p>ps. i just realized using a monk as a comparison might be offensive? i sincerely hope its not and if it is, please do let me know. thank you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>